So yeah, that happened. And it was much more fun that I expected it would be. Also a lot less awkward. That part that I was worried about was not the actual discussion of sex, though, but that my lack of experience would be apparent as I added my opinions about assumptions that many of my friends and I had about the topic and the general societal weirdness about what is and is not acceptable.
For example, I told my group about my recent realization that my sex ed classes in high school mentioned the male orgasm but not the female one and the fact of a close male friend asked me how girls masturbate as examples of the focus on male sexual pleasure. However, when the discussion turned to our own experiences it was interesting to simply listen. One guy shared that he finds the assumption that men ALWAYS want sex has damaged past relationships because female partners were taken aback when he would say “not right now” to them. An acquaintance of mine who is of Indian descent talked about a time when she was on a date with a guy who used her ethnicity to objectify her by referring to her as a bucket list item. One of my bisexual friends compared having sex with men and with women. Many other interesting comments were made, but those were just some of the stand-out examples.
Don’t worry, friends, there is a point to this one. I promise. It’s not like last nights post that was supposed to be deep but just turned out shitty. The idea I’m trying to get at is that it’s true that talking about sex in college is nowhere near as taboo as it is in high school. While in the past everyone was basically divided between the “slutty” people who bragged about their conquests and the “innocent” people who for the most part didn’t have sex and if they did they didn’t talk about it. After tonight’s event I realized that I already knew that this dichotomy was ridiculous. Why shouldn’t people talk about sex-related issues in mature, safe environments? Whether your first time was at a young age or you’re saving yourself for marriage, it’s still something that people should be educated about to a greater extent than uncomfortable class lectures about STDs, labeling diagrams of genitalia, and watching a video of a baby being born. Maybe if it was talked about more, the issues that my peers and I discussed tonight would be better solved.